I don’t know how many federations there are in powerlifting anymore. Off the top of my head, I can think of the AAU, ADAU, ADFPF, APA, APC, APF, EPF, IBP, IPA, IPF, NASA, PPL, 100% RAW, SLP, SPF, UPA, USAPL, USPF, WABDL, WDFPF, WNPF, WPC and the WPF — to name a few.

But personally? I have never lifted in a meet because of the federation. Usually the competition decided where and when I competed, and I went along with the sanctioning body because I had to. Or the meet promoter offered to pay expenses and accommodate my handler and me. The meet might have been within driving distance and therefore convenient. When I started lifting big and qualified for the WPO, fed choice was made for me. To date, that has been the most positive experience for me.

I work in the physical therapy realm. I see doctors all the time. In one meeting, they were curious about what the fed name meant. I went on a dry erase board and explained to them the fed mess. They looked puzzled. Now, these men are millionaires, but they all said, “That just doesn’t make any business sense.” Then I heard the proverbial line, “Why don’t they just have one fed and simplify things, like Strongman or UFC fighting?” I felt embarrassed for powerlifting. I did man up, though. I explained why there are so many sanctioning bodies and how hard it is to sell powerlifting to the masses. But in the end, one sanctioning body makes the most sense.

If we want to complete in a federation’s sanctioned meet, we have to become a member. Most feds charge about $30 to join, then send us a wallet-sized card as proof of membership, similar to the card I got when I joined the Captain Chesapeake Cartoon Club in the 1970s. Oh, wait — that was free. With registration and federations fees, we pay no less than $100 to compete in a powerlifting meet at any level.

The memberships are for one year. So if we pay the fed fee to competed in a meet on Dec. 4, but next year the same meet rolls around on Dec. 6, guess what. You get to pay $30 again!

Lets explore what the Fed does for its members for those $30 bucks. We get:

• No newsletter!
• No T-shirt!
• No subscription to a powerlifting magazine
• No patch!
• No Christmas card!
• No email thanking you for your $30 gift!

Basically, we are being fleeced by the federations. Since the promoter pays for everything, all the fed owner does is stick his hand out for the handout. Lifters, who have trained for years including the three-plus months of meet training, have this “lifting tax” imposed on them. Forgive me, I know that some of the aforementioned feds have a website you may visit. Now, with Facebook, this perk costs them nothing.

The bottom line is that we lifters never questioned the existence of feds, their purpose or their mission. I could start my own federation. Make my own fed crest and sanction powerlifting events all over the country and the world. I could get the meet director to provide all the equipment and the facility, and do all the advertising. “Shut up and pay me,” I could say. One-hundred and fifty dollars for the use of my sanction. Then send me the $30 membership card money. If you have 25 lifters, I make $750 plus the $150 for the use of my sanctioning name. That is a whopping $900 for doing absolutely nothing.

Wait a minute. This sounds like a capital idea. Forget the rest of this article. I am creating my own fed and it will be better than any other. I will start by slamming other feds that cheat and allow the cheaters to compete. Use of the latest gear is forbidden — after all, it’s a joke what supportive gear has become. Who is doing the lifting anyway, the squat suit or the person? Squats must be 4 inches below parallel and, if you survive our sanctioned meet, you will be the strongest lifter because our fed has the strictest rules. It will be your privilege to be allowed to lift in my fed and I will constantly let you know that by threats of banning you if you rub shoulders with other feds, or lifters from other feds, and/or take creatine.

Or I could go in the opposite direction. Should I support and advocate lifting gear and stay hush-hush about the cheater? Make rules that are slack and allow 4-inch high squats and unlocked benches? Weigh in lifters and, if they are a couple of pounds over, just let them in the weight class they want? Man, all these decisions. But the easy money, I must stay focused on the easy money. The power, too! I must have power. Keep myself in the fringe and orchestrate good and bad. Sounds like religion and politics to me. King Don is ready.

Feds: values and morals

So lifters, you know we are being fleeced by feds in a small way. But in the name of having your lifts count, you go ahead and join so that your meet is sanctioned and legit. Most lifters starting out join a fed that accompanies the meet that is in or near their local town. A lot of first-time competitors aren’t even aware they have to pay fed dues until meet day. Kind of sucks when you just paid $75 just to enter the meet, doesn’t it?

Now, the big question is, what fed is right for you? Some feds separate themselves by claiming they are drug-free and one-ply. This weeds out the cheaters and the gear whores. This fed holds itself in high regard and is the only significant one. Only the old-school way is allowed for this fed, which is for real athletes who use the same bar for all three lifts (an Olympic lifting bar) and follow rules so strict that they often can’t be explained. No use for squat lifts. The squat is judged on the down and up movement of the weight, not the walk-out. I wonder how many injuries could have been prevented using a squat lift? Hard to say. By the way, the Feds never pay for orthopedic repairs and hospitalization when you are injured for walking out a heavy weight. It is just too bad. I think these tough guys ought to lift the bench press weight out on their own, too. No liftoff or handout allowed! This would be the ultimate old-school lifting regime and although not many would bench over 500 lbs. in their one-ply, it would make for bragging rights to all the powerlifting fans out there. Oh yeah, there aren’t any.

I once was red lighted in a fed like this. When I respectfully approached the judge and asked what I did wrong, his only response was it looked like I struggled with the lift more than I should have. Good luck in this fed.

Some feds claim they are for lifters only. Some feds are for the lifter who is a true lifter and lifts raw-only. Some feds capitalize on providing a category for all the lifters. So there may be about 25 categories to choose from and possibly win a trophy. Who exactly wins with all these categories, and who loses? If everyone gets a trophy, what fun is that? Police and military need their own meets if they want their own category. Old men and women should lift in masters-only meets if they want fair. The same thing goes for teenagers. If you go to a meet where the fed allows lifting gear and they do not drug test, don’t bitch! I see that as a challenge, but most of you see it as unfair. You elect to be a powerlifter.

No matter what you choose to lift in (raw, equipped, single-ply or drug-free) I am happy for you. I support them all. Powerlifting is the same for any fed. You must squat and break parallel. You must pause and evenly press the bar up to lock out on the bench. You must pull the bar evenly and steady without hitching, and lock out at the top on the deadlift. Also, it must not slip from your grip at any time. Now you know the rules to all the three lifts. Feds have a wonderful time scaring the hell out of lifters in pre-meet rules briefings. The head judge usually pontificates this and twists the rules I mentioned according to what fed he or she represents. I don’t even attend those meetings. Waste of time.

Now, my biggest concern with the various feds is when they are represented by lifters who act like they are approved by God himself. They have morals, like lifetime drug-free. No profanities on the platform. Absolutely no devil music during the lifts. Or they say things like, “We are Christian and only Christians are represented here, and of course Jesus frowns upon drugs!”! The real religious fervor is the attitude of the lifters themselves. They bash other feds and only hold their own to be real. They disregard all of their fellow powerlifters that do not lift in their exclusive fed, which they claim represents truth, justice and the moral way. Who benefits from this? As soon as a lifter ascends to world record status, they bash him or her and say the lifts don’t count because they are not real. If not done in their fed, then they simply don’t exist.

I don’t get these idiots. If they want to beat the world champions, just out-lift them. Period. If they choose raw lifting, don’t blast the guys who choose gear. If they want to show other lifters up, get some gear and compete. If they are drug-free and hate the guys they accuse of taking drugs because they lift more, start taking drugs. Otherwise, they should stay in their fed and lifting niche they chose.

My old football coach had a saying: “Do your own job first.” I you powerlifters from different disciplines follow that before they start cannibalizing their fellow lifters. Powerlifting has nothing to do with morals and values. It is not a religion. God could care less how much you lift. Lifting doesn’t raise your children properly or keep terrible men from cheating on their dearly beloveds. Powerlifting is simply three lifts that every lifter wants to increase with every meet. I am in powerlifting to exploit the highest numbers I can. That is my desire and passion. My values and morals, or lack thereof, are what I do on my own time, not during a sporting event.

Solution?

If all the powerlifters in each lifting discipline got together and formed a lifters union, we could stamp out the various feds and force them to merge. The lifters union (not to be confused with work unions) is free to join and would decide which fed it will invites to sanction the meet. Some feds might pay the meet director to be the sanctioning body. Most similar feds would merge and would represent regions of the country.

Some fed owners are stand-up people who recognize the need to downsize the fed population. The lifters don’t want to see these fed owners vacate, but rather continue to be involved in some manner. The meet director would pay the fed fee of, lets say, $100 for the sanctioning body. Since this would be all non-profit, most fed owners would simply disappear. The lifters union would choose for themselves which feds survive and die. We’d have a fed for teens and masters. One for amateurs. One for raw. One for pro. All but pro would be assumed to be drug-free and have gear limitations where applicable.

That would narrow it down to four feds. Elected officials can represent each fed and the judging is the same across the board. The lifters union, which is all of us, would vote on who we want to represent us — and that is that.

It would look like this:

• The lifters union governs the federations, not the other way around.
• Four feds represent the four different powerlifting disciplines.
• The Lifters Union would decide if membership is free, if dues are paid, if it is free the first year, if teenagers are free — or whatever. If dues apply, they will go toward an interactive website, one freaking free T-shirt and the legal matters that go with sanctioning meets. We, the lifters, would take control of everything.

That is my solution to the problem we face. The dozens of feds make it confusing and cheapen our hard work. If one lifter hates his or her fed, they just start their own. Or it is not the fed that let the lifter or coach down, it’s personal problems with the fed owner and president. This is like a church split run amuck, when disgruntled churchgoers start their own church and own religion. Not good.

This solution is not perfect, nor is it necessarily the best way. It is what I have come up with. I have zero fed loyalty. I lift in meets that I will be happy at, where the atmosphere and competitors are good and lifters’ safety is taken into consideration. I like judges who benefit the lifter if they are unclear of their call. I like meet promoters and directors who try to organize and run the meet so the lifter will be comfortable. This includes the latest and best equipment. Most of all, I like to lift the most weight I possible can.

Lifters who wear your fed loyalty like a badge of separatism, look down on other lifters because they are not in their fed, and discount other lifters who do not choose their path should choose politics or evangelism — not powerlifting. This approach clogs up everything and keeps this sport in the dark ages. We watched bodybuilding pass us by. Now Strongman has overshadowed us. MMA blew everything out of the water with its fan base. And here we are, pathetic gripers about which fed is better and what lifter is more legit. We can’t get anyone to come to a powerlifting meet besides family and close friends.

So I have decided to ignore all this crap and lift where I want and with people who treat me the best. I don’t care if my lifts are discounted or not. Also, I did not mention any fed by name. I think lifters should support whatever fed they want and end it there. Do your own job first and keep your praises and criticisms confined within the walls of your fed. Don’t gossip about other lifters in other feds like a little bitch. If we follow this one rule, we’ll all be happy. In the words of the great Jesse Kellum, “Take what you want, wear what you want, just try and beat me on the platform!”